A note from an ER nurse in New York‬ I broke down and cried today. I cried of exhaustion, of defeat. Because after 4 years of being an ER nurse, I suddenly feel like I know nothing. Because my face hurts after wearing an N95 for 13 hours, which happens to be the same N95 I wore yesterday for 12.5 hours, and the same one from all last week. I don’t know how many times I’ve heard the statement “but this is what you signed up for”. Just, no. I signed up to take care of sick patients, yes. I did not sign up to be unprotected by their sickness (Although my hospital is busting their a......doing EVERYTHING they can to protect us). I did not sign up to be yelled at by angry patients because our government failed to be prepared. I did not sign up to risk mine and my family’s health and safety because people wanted to go on their vacations after they said NOT to. An ER nurse in New York died today of COVID-19. He was in his 40s and had very mild asthma. That’s it. This is not just a tall tale, this is the real risk. I have to go into every patient’s room and in the back of my mind I think “this could be the patient that gets me sick... that kills me”. “This could be the patient that gives me the virus I bring home to my children or asthmatic husband”. This is my new reality. And I’m scared. S.L. – RN